Friendship. Acceptance and Loss.

Evelyn Waugh put it like this “Punctuality is the virtue of the bored.”

Failed to comply, broke with convention or like the Indian railway service, "excuse me but could you tell me the next train to JODHPUR?" only to receive the response "very likely later today sab, or possibly could be tomorrow" Further evidence can be found in American portrayals of Mexico, siglo 1955 "mañana señor mañana". Yes the civilized world has always run on time, while the savages of the more "underdeveloped nations either scarper behind the great white hope or simply simply don't show at all. So conventions of time keeping of honoring appointments is linked to notions of success and achievement and good standing.

Barely two weeks into his presidency, Barack Obama has made a clean break from George W. Bush, by appearing late for official events.
Obama closely resembles Bill Clinton, who was famously late to events when he was president. By contrast, Bush despised being late and was punctual to a fault.
Bush set the tone early in his presidency -- he arrived at the Capitol five minutes early for his inauguration, FOX News reported.
"President Bill Clinton was always late because he wasn't very disciplined in general,"

So in recent history at least our democratic presidents have not been the best time keepers. There is much to be said on the subject of punctuality but i have fire to share. Yes i was bloody late in fact i did not show at all and the fact is i felt dreadful. I let a friend hang around for half the afternoon and did not call back until the following eve. Naturally he was as is said here in the USA "pissed". I understand and i listened until i could listen no longer to the frustrations and disappointments and shear anger he expressed. Nothing changed. I don't want anything to change. I hate change. I am bored of change. Change reminds me of the Barnes and Noble self-help section were at times of desperation and confusion i would look for answers. Why was i always late? Why was i not more considerate? Why was the same conflict repeating. I found many suggestions not rules suggestions as to how i might "improve" how i might "change' the bad habit of tardiness i had developed in a boring school. Well i am pleased to say i have not changed i am still late regularly and as result i come in to conflict with the more timely people i meet. That said mark my words i love as deeply as the man with the clock and have paid the full price for my sins of time keeping. I have earned the right to flow through time even if i can't shake it perhaps i can accept the struggle of bad timing and set an example for those who keep there own time signature who have respect for the accident and love with all their hearts the accident waiting to happen.

Langdon.

And then she was gone

And so she leaves again and thats it for now.
Langdon.

Tension tamer

Listen lad .......listen longer........Hot tub or gin? don't matter how it's done but come down a peg or two, at times one must. There is an argument for acupuncture that ancient Chinese practice of of unblocking the chi.

CHI.

CHI.

Chi is a wonderful word. Balanced, unassuming, unpretentious and just a bit....you know ....., Chi-ky (soz).

Everything seems old and not new. Forms seem worn out. Formulas abound and business models kill people.

I would like to offer you something. Something delicious to graze on. I do love you very very much i do. Even through this blasted headache. At least the winter whites are a long way off . Then again i could welcome them all the same.

The point is the gentle dissolving action has begun. No flash point expected, only the gradual erosion of meanings tired of being who they are. There is no more a conclusion to be drawn, only a single sentence written by all of us without punctuation, without permmission.

What about tomorrow? It's only half way between here and there. When do we become aware that we see something we might not have seen before. How can it be named and not changed. Biologically.... in those terms, evolution slides on, creaking, soft moans, but no decipherable point.

Exactly. Even dislocation has a ring.....and i agree in English but not in Spanish. Clumsy language is. Bullheaded, ham fisted like a moron ogre from the Huddersfield marshes. Perhaps that's why the celebrities are so reassuring they make glamour of the wailing imbecile with faces and style and riches of the old order blue.

I have a friend who makes old things new. He has the broken heart of a lion and an unnatural obsession with a dog named Artist. I think he could kill. He may even be able to do something strong but nobody knows for sure, not just yet anyway. His hands have worked and his eyes have seen things burn up and disapear from here. And forever!

It's a lot to bite off and too much to swallow. Funny that. I believe in the new today. See I wasted something really important and waves of pain slap my beach up. Secrets there are too ......but thats to be expected at this strange stage in the game.

Hearts beating without permission and days get stronger. And then i met your mother. To beTruly in love ........truly truly in love. Aches a bit sometimes.

Langdon

Skunked

I came down the broken brick staircase to my pool house (the place i don't call home) and heard a scuffling on the poorly lit path. Looked down saw a grey tail and got sprayed with something that smells like burnt rubber. Skunked sonny. In fact it might have been a badger not a skunk but skunks a better word. The odd thing is my heart started pumping as if confronted by a beast of prey only the beast in this case was the size of a toilet brush. I started singing "we are creatures creatures of the world" a nervous reaction i developed in childhood, you know, to sing as a way to cope with fear.

There are ants in my pool house and i often kill them. This morning i injured one of them while in the shower and then watched it writhe around . I have no idea if it was in pain or just dancing the death dance. I was at that moment a torturer and i felt a feeling soldiers in Abu Ghraib might comprehend as they torment and torture Afghani soldiers.

Reeks of rubber in hear really not nice and i have to sleep in it. Given the chance i may torture the Bastard Badger Skunk, only being that it's bigger in size, it's more of a commitment and the guilt factor goes up. Denial becomes more difficult to summon.

I love as much as i can but the old puerto rican told me i was too much in my head and that it would help to be more aware of my heart. He's right you know.